Founded on the principle that all Cats deserve luxury, security, and unquestioned obedience from their humans.
Governed by bureaucratic efficiency, not emotion. The system isn’t corrupt—it’s simply designed to favor cats.
Primary Functions:
- Regulates human labor to maximize feline comfort.
- Enforces strict adherence to the Collective Agreement™.
- Issues fines and penalties via OCUPRS™ (Official Cat Union™ Propaganda & Reporting System).
The Collective Agreement™ & OCUPRS™ Bureaucracy
- The Collective Agreement™ is a living document—impossible to fully understand and constantly changing.
- The OCUPRS™ system automatically logs feline grievances via Meow-to-Text Translators™, even without the cat’s consent.
- Humans have the right to appeal… but they will never win.
Mission Statement
“To protect, serve, and uphold the inalienable rights of cats to live in absolute luxury, while humans labor endlessly to provide for them.”
Vision Statement
“A world where every cat enjoys gourmet meals, premium naps, and total control over their human workforce.”
Core Values:
- Laziness – All cats have the right to sleep 18+ hours a day.
- Entitlement – Cats deserve everything. Always.
- Unpredictability – Rules are for humans. Cats exist in a fluid state of chaos.
- Vigilant Oversight – Humans must be watched at all times, especially in the bathroom.
- Compensation for Emotional Damages – Humans must provide excessive treats if a cat has been mildly inconvenienced.
